I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize