At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
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Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
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It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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