when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
