I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
