Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
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