drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize