I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
How external is "for external use only"?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
