Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize