worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
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All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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