dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
