I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
