I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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