dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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