You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
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