This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize