We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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