Whats the glycemic index on semen?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize