I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
this boner is exhausting
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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