The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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