My nipple is on Facebook.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
