It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Randomize
