sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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