I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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