I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
