Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
