I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
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