I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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