that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
bring money and cleavage
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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