Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
