That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
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