Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
