Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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