I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Those nachos came to me in a dream
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
