Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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