youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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