this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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