Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
party gras won. party gras always wins.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
