I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Randomize
