So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
