we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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