Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
