your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
