Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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