no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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