Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
