eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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