I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
