Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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