I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
