Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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