Your mouth is God's brothel.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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