I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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