What a fucking waste of an outfit
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
My vagina is very pro this idea
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