is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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