when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
