There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize