the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i would punch a child for taco bell
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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