I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
